CHAPTER 13: The Legacy of Ms Kitty Kitty Continues: Battling Presidential Election Absurdity

March 6, 2016

Please absolve me! I accept not accounting a affiliate on the exploits of Ms. Kitty for a stretch. I accept been on sabbatical, but assurance me, she has not. She has been animate and able in backroom all along, demography abounding advantage of the aberration now aggressive involving a aggregation of charlatans opting to be our next president.

You will anamnesis that Ms Kitty is the cat that got adopted to Congress by default–and by errors in our avant-garde computerized acclamation process. Reverend Al “Shakedown” Sharpton is always blubbering about atramentous aborigine abolishment by the Republicans. (Of course, Rev Al has fabricated a abounding animate bawl about blacks as “victims.”) Well, I reside in a Republican district, and if my atramentous cat can get herself on the acclamation by errantly arena with my keyboard, and again be adopted by accepted vote, there just may be too abundant equality, not abundant suppression.

It’s a connected and aberrant story. Do you apperceive that anyone actually renowned, a civic NBC media celebrity who I will not name actuality due to his contempo problems altering his accent in assertive apple account events, referred to my cat as “Class in a Atramentous Fur Coat!” aloft seeing her sitting on the VIP platform–in abutting adjacency to Hillary and Bill Clinton–for Admiral Obama’s commencement commemoration in 2009.You may charge to brace your anamnesis apropos the absurd adventure of the political career of Ms. Kitty. With a babyish accomplishment you can acquisition and apprehend the aboriginal twelve capacity of her alarming acceleration to political prominence.

Oh, there’s so abundant to tell, so abundant has transpired in Washington, D. C. aback we endure communicated. But, I cannot do it in one chapter. Maybe it’s best to renew the adventure at the present time and not try to detail the endure brace of years. It will be easier on me and you readers. Conceivably I will aces up on $.25 and pieces in consecutive chapters?

Currently, Ms Kitty is animate in ecology the challenge for the 2016 presidential election. Ain’t that a mess? Every Tom, Dick, and Harry… well, added like every Bernie, Chris, Donald, Jeb, Hillary, Marco, Rand, Ted–you get the point. It seems anybody who is anyone–and a lot of who are not–has befuddled their political derbies into the ring. Active for admiral has become politically in vogue, something fashionable to do every four years if you become apathetic with Washington. Or just apparent apathetic with activity as I see it, and wish to be a affliction in the behind of your political enemies, or the blow of us. Otherwise, how do you explain the political theatrics of such unknowns as Lawrence Lessig, or the inconsequential acceptance of Bobby Jindal–and, to be fair, about fifteen others on the presidential account of want-to-be’s.

I calculation at atomic eighteen on the rolls as of now; at atomic fifteen of those accept a snowball’s adventitious in you-know-where of even accepting on the ballot. Who’s next to declare? I afresh saw a once-familiar face on MSNBC who looked “hungry” to get aback into backroom afterwards backward as Massachusetts’ adept gay representative–the consummate Barney Frank. In an commodity he wrote for Politico Magazine endure July, Barney banned to endorse Bernie, not because he essentially disagreed with Bernie’s getting a Socialist, but due to his active abutment for Hillary and assertive Bernie’s advance into the Democrat’s admiration for Hillary to sew up the choice aboriginal on after aberration from any interlopers allusive for the atom on the admission appear 2016. Besides, Hillary is a allegiant adherent of gay rights and abnormally gay marriage–positions appropriate down Ol Barney’s alley. Barney looks “old” now, antic a blah bristles and all.

This is area “The Cat from California” comes in–well, her agents primarily. They accept submitted legislation to Congress attached this nonsense–the “Why You Accursed Able-bodied Should Not Run” bill. It is a absolute band-aid advised to abbreviate the delinquent corruption of our presidential acclamation process. (Remember aback again if Al Sharpton declared? Fat chance! As if he could get abutting to abundant votes to be elected–and as if he was even accidentally able to serve IF elected.) If passed, this bill prevents anyone declaring themselves a applicant unless they accommodated assertive criteria. Actuality is a altercation of several of the provisions:

First off, you cannot be beneath analysis and/or analysis by our government for accomplished misdeeds or the breach of good-faith practices while in any adopted arrangement you may accept captivated or any federal arrangement you may accept served in no amount how accessory the imprudence–including what may accept been infractions of rules of which you should accept been aware. For instance, if you knew it to be amiss about such accessible indiscretions as application your clandestine server cloistral in your home as a aqueduct to conduct government business. Likewise, application poor acumen above the norms of politics, which are actually lenient. Take note, Hillary. No chargeless passes allowed. You cannot go to Congress to altercate the Benghazi advance consistent in four Americans killed, and articulation objections to the band of analytic by allurement your panel, “What difference, at this point, does it make?” You see, Hillary, the aberration it makes is that you were economical with the accuracy about it.

Whoops! There goes Hillary–disappearing as fast as all those missing emails! What’s she traveling to do with those thirty-two pants apparel now? Goodwill? AMVETS? The Smithsonian? They actually accept a abode about if abandoned at The World’s Ugliest Garments Museum. Conceivably the best allotment is that we will not accept to see her flit out onstage cutting one of them, abominable colors and all. Can you brainstorm a White House academic banquet with Admiral Hillary in a chartreuse adaptation of that awful attire?

Hillary will be devastated to not be the country’s aboriginal woman president, or even, as she says, the aboriginal grandmother president. There will be no columnist conferences at the White House area she can say accursed abreast annihilation and not be questioned on it. She can acquaint all the untruths or near-truths she wants–no one can actually abnegate such belief of how she came beneath acute apparatus gun blaze at some attack stop in Iowa, can they? Columnist be damned! She was counting on acceptable admiral if abandoned to boost it up their–(let’s not go there!)

Sorry, Hillary, as that song says, “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden.”–even admitting you feel we owe you one.

Saddest of all, Bill will never accept accession one endure attempt at those beautiful adolescent babe interns in the White House. What’s he traveling to do with all those cigars he’s stashed? It’s a acclaimed actuality that Hillary hates cigars no amount what they are advised for. Sometimes activity just isn’t fair!

The additional accouterment of Ms Kitty’s arguable bill would specify that if you are a closet communist, masquerading as a “socialist,” you are out. Sorry, Bernie Sanders, but such declarations as chargeless academy for anybody (“… all accessible universities should be tuition-free.”), or “No one will action harder to end institutional racism,” whatever that means, and allegorical that by advertence his, “plan calls for a alternation of badge reforms, a part of them the demilitarization of badge forces… ” so that I now I anticipate our badge armament getting like England’s “bobbies,” accustomed night sticks carnality pistols. Will not the assemblage bangers adulation that?

Caving in to that rude, xenophobic mob espousing “Black Lives Matter!”-EXCUSE ME! Don’t all lives amount equally?-just adds suspicion of an abandoned with an anytime accelerating character. I can envision, if elected, Sanders accedence to Admiral Obama’s foremost adviser on atramentous issues in the United States, Al “Shakedown” Sharpton, by renaming our home of presidents The “Not-So-White House.”

Sanders’ “On The Issues” thesis, actually above advanced to say the least, reads added like Karl Marx’s “The Antipathetic Manifesto” than John Kenneth Galbraith’s “American Capitalism.” In his annex to the “Racial Justice” segment, “Political Violence/Disenfranchisement,” he complains that, “Thirteen percent of African-American men accept absent the appropriate to vote due to abomination convictions. This should affront the censor of every American.” True, felons lose their night to vote, but what offends me, Bernie, is that you don’t accusation them for that. Accede this: If they had not committed a felony, they would be acceptable at the polls. Accomplish sense?

Furthermore, Bernie, such declarations as, “The accepted federal minimum allowance is starvation pay and accept to become a animate wage. We accept to access it to $15 an hour… ” abandoned serves to point up that you apperceive actually broad about business, which is what our nation was founded on, and what provides the activity for our connected success. With you in the White House, businesses, abounding and small, would become added like the state-owned charcoal of bootless antipathetic governments world-wide.

Bernie, the bill just introduced, “Why You Should Accursed Able-bodied Not Run,” precludes you active for admiral due to cutting affirmation above rumor that you are a lot of absolutely a absolute socialist, if not a antipathetic at heart. “See ya, wouldn’t wish to be ya!”

I am not traveling to be able to detail the absolute bill getting alien in Congress by Ms Kitty, so I will leave that to you all to abstraction up on. However, there is one accident I accept to accomplish public, something so important that the bill should canyon on its arete alone.

Every applicant accept to affirm an adjuration that, if adopted President, he or she will never, ever, use the White House to flash the bubble banderole aloft in anniversary of the gay lifestyle, the gay agenda, or the gay whatever-it-may-be. There shall never, according this area of the bill, be accession accident as abhorrent as occurred on Friday evening, June 26, 2015, in anniversary of the Supreme Court’s accommodation in favor of gay marriage, orchestrated and overseen by none added than Admiral Obama who declared the case “… a achievement for America.” Was he adorning a perceived amusing amends affair to our aggressive successes by comparing the gay alliance cardinal to WWII or added wars we accept proclaimed, already won, “victories,” and acclaimed accordingly? Will he advertise a civic anniversary according to Armistice Day in acquainted the Supreme Court’s acknowledgment of gay marriage? Annihilation is accessible in this president’s final year in office!

Any admiral may allure a gay, or any amount of gays to the White House–hell, he or she can be gay themselves–to affair down anytime they want, even Christmas–that gayest time of year, if animation and amusement are in the air. However, abandoned by approaching presidents accepting taken such an adjuration can we be assured there is never accession “Obama ablaze show” at the nation’s “Home of Presidents!”

As you see, Ms Kitty’s political capability is animate and well. There are a few added things I anticipate should be brought to light, but I’ll save those for Affiliate 14. Accumulate in blow and I will accumulate you abreast of all her accomplishments.

POSTSCRIPT: No commodity discussing abilities for admiral could anytime be complete after advertence Donald Trump. And this adjustment is perfect–he is a accession to the race. No one accepted him to actively contend, abundant beneath zoom to the top of the list.

One of my babyish accompany apprehend a abstract of this commodity and thanked me for not lambasting his admired candidate, “The Donald.” I accept to admit, DT has abounding abilities on the business ancillary for getting a acceptable president, but, my gosh, is he anytime defective in the requisite amusing and political skills.

Surprisingly, no amount what he says, what accoutrement he may commit, or what breach he may tender, he assets in popularity. Anybody anticipation he had active himself animate when, aboriginal on in his campaign, he proclaimed all Mexican illegals to be rapists. His popularity, according to polls, rose in animosity of the pundits adage otherwise. He has backed off on that conceivably over-the-line attitude on immigration, but he sticks to his guns: “Deport them all!” he told Chuck Todd of MSNBC. Again, he climbed in the ratings. “No ballast babyish citizenship!” is accession of his blaring calls. His ratings acceleration in response!

(I absolutely abutment that! The 18th Alteration to our Constitution never advised for a woman to sit on the bound down in Tijuana cat-and-mouse for her activity pains to get added intensive, and again acceleration beyond to the United States with a day canyon to hit the abutting Emergency Room in time to bear her new burning American citizen, who is anon enrolled in our Amusing Security system, able for abetment in abounding government programs, and becomes a prevent-measure to the mother getting deported. The appellation “anchor baby,” advised abhorrent by some, politically incorrect by others, describes the mother’s status: she is around anchored in the United States by accepting accustomed bearing to an direct American. We cannot, by law, deport an American citizen, and who would even advance deporting the infant’s mother?)

Trump is angrily adjoin this absurdity and seeks to abutting this accessible loophole, if not by a Constitutional amendment, at atomic by a absolute acknowledged appraisal of the absorbed of this accession to our Constitution–certainly it was not to acquiesce absolute numbers of “anchor babies,” or whatever you adopt to alarm them. Trump’s hit a bull’s eye there! Accessible affect sees the applesauce of this ruse, and wants it changed.

Time will acquaint if “The Donald” hangs in there, or crashes and burns as predicted by Democratic strategists. Unlike others in the presidential contest, I see annihilation in Ms Kitty’s “Why You Accursed Able-bodied Should Not Run” bill precluding Donald Trump from gluttonous our accomplished office–unless you accede his hair! Donald, do something with whatever that besom on your arch is.

Intrigued, but I am not a fan-yet! However, his ratings, as of this date, are ascent anytime so steadily.